All You Need is Love



Mark and I spent an afternoon at the beach this weekend.  While relaxing to the sound of seagulls and waves lapping on the shore, I was reading Wayne Dyer’s book, The Power of Intention.   Dyer gives us a list of “Seven Steps for Overcoming Ego’s Hold On You”. 

1.  Stop Being Offended

2.  Let Go of your Need to Win

3.  Let Go of your Need to be Right

4.  Let go of your Need to be Superior

5.  Let Go of your Need to have More

6.  Let Go of identifying yourself on the basis of your achievments.

7.  Let Go of your Reputation

As I read the list and his brief explanations of each step, I smiled in agreement.

Over the years, I’ve discovered I am the master of my own happiness and my own misery.  This is a powerful discovery because it tells me I am never a victim.  It also means I have to take responsibility for my choices and cannot blame others for my perceived problems.


We humans seem to be filled with all kinds of romantic notions involving our own personal story .  Whether ours is a story of pleasure or a story of pain,  we like to dive head first right into the center of it.  We claim it and we wallow in it.  We believe the story is who we really are.  

We receive a temporary pleasure or high from sharing our great achievments.  There is nothing wrong with being confident in your abilities.  It is only when we think our achievments define us or somehow make us special or superior to other people that moves us into the ego.

 If we’re honest with ourselves, we also derive pleasure when we drag others into our drama to feel sorry for us or to share in an incident which offended us.   It’s called a Pity Party.  We’ve all attended and thrown several pity parties.  They can be a good time, but they all end up doing nothing more than making the ego stronger, and blocking us from our true selves.  Some people might assume I am saying they shouldn’t discuss a situation that has upset them.  I’m not.  If you are able to choose a compassionate person with some level of spiritual consciousness (one who isn’t interested in feeding or stroking your ego), and you are able to discuss the issues with an open mind, I believe it can be a positive journey into healing.   I have a few friends who are willing to discuss solution with me rather than groom my ego.   I call them when I am stuck.  We work together on solutions.  We work on awareness.

Some people are too caught up in their ego thoughts and need a little support to point them toward consciousness.  These folks are easily offended.  I am not surprised.  The ego chooses to take the smallest remark and contort it into an attack.  As a an intuitive counselor, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard dramatic descriptions of a person’s feelings when describing an experience, that for others, including myself, might have no effect without ever giving it a second thought.  

I used to worry because some people are so “sensitive” that I might be going around offending people left and right. 

As I grew  and understood my own spirit on a deeper level, I recognized that I cannot control  how another person interprets my words or actions.  Especially if the person is in ego.  As a matter of fact, the ego searches for reasons to be offended.  As long as I am aware that my intentions are never to harm another, and that my mind is open to learn new things, I have to be true to my spirit.  Of course I use tact, and this isn’t about hammering my opinions into others or saying, it is too bad if somebody takes what I say the wrong way.  What I’m saying is quite the opposite.  Instead of hiding or being passive aggressive and pretending there is no problem, I invite people to share ideas or feelings with me. 

 Sometimes people do not show up in a conscious state and instead allow the ego to run the show.  People are very attached to their egos.  I recognize the ego right away.  It might show up as sarcastic, arrogant, and controlling.  It may also show up as a sugar sweet passive actor.   An ego state might agree with you to avoid conflict.  The ego is cowardly.  The ego is afraid of being humiliated.  The ego has many disguises.  I know I cannot reason with the ego.  The ego is insane.  The ego must win and it always will.  It digs at me and tries to get me to go into ego too.  It’s best in those moments to be compassionate and stay in my own place of awareness.   It’s best for me to standby and be as balanced as possible and allow the other person the opportunity to hear their own voice or feel their own energy.  It isn’t necessary for one of us to win or lose.  If you see your fellow man as yourself, you no longer care about winning an argument.  Winning implies your fellow man or woman must lose.  Winning and losing is of the ego.  Do you feel happy when your friend or loved one loses? 

Does this mean you are supposed to be agreeable?  No, that is passive aggressive–ego.  You simply state your truth, open your mind, listen, and understand there may be several things going on.  Are you in ego?  Is the other person in ego?  Step back and breathe.  If you can be in a calm state of mind you can feel it in the energy.  Pay attention.  Breathe.  If you sense they are in their ego, remember how scared you feel when you are in ego.  Have compassion and agree to view things different and open your heart.  You might learn something.  You might even realize that the other person’s point of view may make more sense.  Can you imagine that?   It feels great when that happens.  You learn from your loved one.  What a wonderful feeling! 



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9 thoughts on “All You Need is Love

  1. I ❤ you, will you come be my neighbor? 🙂

    I had a pretty good chat catching up with my dear friend Jeanneatte the other day (she’s a Taurus lady too, very similar to you, but she could be your mother! 😉 ) she and I, are over 50 years apart in age but I am like another daughter to her, but also a good friend. We can talk about things like this, and dealing with situations and the can/cannot’s of life. She’s a good lady. We were talking about the way people act around others, and how they may be feeling at certain times in her life. We each have friends and family who definitely let their ego get the best of them, but we’ve come to realize there’s some people you really cannot expect to act a certain way around you (or maybe you can? depending on their situation) but the point is that of course you cannot change others, you can only listen.. and hear.

    I know plenty of people who are very “sensitive” like that, and pretty much take everything the wrong way. At this point, I just let bygons be bygons and accept that that’s who they are, at least for right now. I’m pretty aware of myself lately and I think that’s a bit intimidating for some people, but enlightening for others. But, I think coming to terms with this on my own, I’m feeling a lot better in life and am a lot more aware of the feelings and vibes i receive from others, and the things I say to them as well.

    Anyway, good read! 🙂

  2. Wow. This was all very well said. I catch myself sometimes getting upset at someone, and I remind myself, I’m creating my own reality here, I’m not a victim.

    I love Wayne Dyer, this list is great. I really enjoy watching him when he’s on Public Television.

  3. This was amazing and exactly what I need to read. I am in ego all the time and in many ways it takes over my life. The image of the flower will stick in my mind as something to think about when I’m there. Thanks A – you should do more of these kinds of blogs.

  4. Very interesting! I can honestly say I do well with most of the things on that list except….

    3. Let Go of your Need to be Right.

    I need to work on this one. I don’t like being wrong.

  5. I love that list. I took the liberty of copying it and printing it out to remind myself every now and again. And yes, I’m guilty of more than one of those items 🙂

  6. Wow! We are totally on the same page! I bought the book The Power of Intention a few years ago. For some reason I had a hard time comprehending it, so my husband ended up buying me the book on CD. For some reason I still had a hard time with it. After listing to a New Earth, The Power of Now and The Law of Attraction, I felt I was ready. I started to listen to the CDs just this past Monday! I’m LOVING it! I can’t tell you how much reading these books (or I should say listening) has changed my life over the past 4 months 🙂 Plus I walk while listening and get a great workout too!

  7. did you write this post for me? .. cause it’s speaking to me.

    the first part of that ‘sentence’ was kind of joking…. It’s so hard to explain what you just explained.. but you did it very perfectly. I really try to separate myself from the “ego” but in this world it’s hard to do that… hard for me anyway. realizing it, putting it into words helps though.

    thanks. 🙂
    there’s always room for me to work on me.

  8. For some it takes a long journey for them to realise they are master of their own destinies (and I am one of those) and it proves to be a tough journey to stay on course. But try we must.

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